I want to wear you

by Ee'da


I want to write you a love poem 
But how do I not sound corny, not sound clichéd? 
Its hard … 
But I want to find a new way to say to you that I love you 

For you, I will circle the earth many times over 
I’ll find words in native languages, 
like Walpriri , like ‘’mapenzi’ in Swahili, 
I’ll swim through the zambesi 
travel miles and miles down the River Nile… 
Sit with Bedouins in their camps 
and learn the word for ‘fire’ in their dialect, 
So I can write love songs about my burning for you 

Then I’ll string these words around my neck 
and wear it like an amulet from the Chipibo tribes 
With copal wafting through the air, 
I’ll let tribal elders inscribe symbols onto my skin, 
that speaks of this palpable , tangible ,intangible kind of love 

And then… 
I’ll go all out and wear this love around my waist 
The way , you creep from behind 
To wrap your arms around me 
when I’m washing the dishes, 
and we’d be swaying, saying out loud 
our dreams and our wishes 
you purify my hands in warm soapy water, 
my heart, with your rapturous laughter… 

I want to wear you like comfort 
like sleepy joes and ugg boots, 
Fleecy hoods and cropped tops, 
I wear you proudly like hip hop to a novice rapper 
Or like sweet imaginings 
Imagine J Dilla and Fela playing a game of table tennis 
And they be smashing it! 
Making beats with nothing 
but breath and ping pong balls , 
you’re like my dipthong, like the vowels 
where you can be ‘o’ and I can be ‘e’ 
we’ll drop the ‘L’ and ‘V’ 
and watch this shit to go viral 

I want to wear you like the most comfortable flanellex pjs, 
Then hold you up with pride like a rare vinyl to a dj 
Then I’ll dance to your rhythms 
hands clap, feet tap to the rhythm… 
of you 
And I’ll hear you everywhere 
In all the sounds and all the silences 

I want to wear your heart on my sleeves, 
so you can see how I weave through life 
With you on my left and my right, 
Like badges of honour, 
I wear you proudly throughout all the seasons, 
Because for me baby.. 
You’ll never go out of style 

And with you, I don’t even mind using words like ‘forever’ 
No fear that this thing will turn sour, 
and I’m left looking like a fool for love, 
Cos I know I’m just at school for life, 
I’m learning, I’m teaching- the art of loving 
You’ve got me fully enrolled 
and I must say that you are my favourite subject. 

See, I’ve had men try to control me , own me, disown, subdue me, 
tone me down 
Told me I was too sexual, too friendly, or too flirtatious.. 
My very smile was contentious 
Treated me like I was a burden, judged me for my choices 
Hey I was just learning to find my way, my many voices 
But these men who were insecure in themselves, 
They made me feel like I needed to shine just a little bit 
less, to keep me in my place 
Unaware of my own brilliance 
Unaware that I am a LIONESS 

But you, you celebrate me 
Like everyday…u tell me I’m your Goddess, 
That I don’t have to only show u my best 
You will still love me through my mess, 
that I’m divine no less and 
I can exhale and show you 
my true face 
You are a God 
And together we write the creation story 
Every day for seven days 
my skin chronicle these tales of 
your tenderness, 
every hair follicle bearing witness to this reverence 

Every day for seven days 
You part head from heart 
Plant feet to earth, and give birth to presence 
Then u offer it up to me , 
attached to a chord 
Connecting you to me, connecting US to God 

Every day for seven days 
You remind me to be grateful even of that fact, 
That our parents f%^$& up 
That broken homes were training grounds, 
That healers can emerge from the rubbles of verbal assaults, 
That when parents use children as pawn in their war games, 
Then perhaps, on some level, 
They’ve sacrificed their own peace 
so we could learn to soar on the wings of childhood wounds 
The miracle and wonder of, 
Broken hearts made stronger, 
brighter by the scars that have healed over 
them 

And that this can only happen, 
if you hold your heart out towards the light 
At the mere sight of your sweet smile, I photosynthesize 
Like Chlorophyll, you fill me with your energy and insight 
My king, Let me come down on one knee 
and chant devotion in your name, 

please wax and wane your twin flame onto my shadows 
so even the ground can be blessed by our Oath 

I was once a gypsy princess, 
my dress made of festival threads and desert dust 
But now I became ‘US’ 
The rest became ‘Her Story’ 
When you became my king 
And I don’t even mind g a word like ‘forever’ 
Because forever is still too short time a to be with you, 
My love.

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